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Old May. 25th, '18, 6:34 pm   #1
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Jun 2008 2,339
Toronto, ON
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Default Week 5 Power Rankings - Hookers and Blow For Everybody!

Week 5 Record: (8-0-0) Season Record: (19-14-7)
GF: 38 goals
GA: 15 goals
PP: 25%
PK: 91.7%

From zero to hero, the Golden Knights had a home-run week going 8-0-0. As a team these guys were by far the most dominant team, allowing less than 10 shots against per game on average while shooting like madmen the other way. It makes you wonder where it came from all of a sudden eh? Rumour has it the Jersey Shore boy was the final piece to the puzzle. Scoring wise 5 out of the 7 forwards this week had more than 10 points, and KT on the point had 5 goals with a 90.5 D-rating. BleedBlueBlood's save percentage suffers as always at .792 but it doesn't mean he's bad, EA is the culprit here as his GAA is still below 2.00 this week. Keep putting your money on 8's at the roulette table boys, it's working!

Key Player: kdfsjljklgjfg - Forward - 4gp | 7g | 5a | 12pts
This week with all the great performers and the Golden Knights hogging the 3 stars, the key player choice had to be as random as the name. However, it's not as if this random dude was worthless out there. Coming in at a 61.1% faceoff win percentage in 4 games is huge. This week Vegas dominated in puck control and so much of it began on the draws with a man named kdfryhfsrtsgjtslghtaegljalgtag.

Week 5 Record: (4-3-1) Season Record: (20-11-9)
GF: 21 goals
GA: 23 goals
PP: 13.6%
PK: 88.9%

The NYI rollercoaster never ends, this week going 4-3-1. Next week where will the they be? Nobody knows anymore. Forwards scored enough to get the wins in 4 games this week, but didn't play an overly impressive game of puck. Luckily the Islanders $9,000,000 player of KosmicEA was again near the top of his game at 11 points and 57% faceoff rating. Unfortunately for the owner, SoulControlla99 did not make his presence known with only 1 point in 2 games and a -6. Is this why he was traded? Only time will tell, there's still a lot of time to turn it up. Defensively DrugMonkeyRX, caseobeerz, and GetLowBanks held it together with 90+ D-ratings each, and FluKy having another incredible week in net at .889 save percentage. Alltheway stepped up for 2 games in net, and is now stepping down from net, after 9 goals against and .625 save percentage. Rumour has it, goalie schools in Florida only teach how to stop beach balls, not hockey pucks.

Key Player: DrugMonkeyRX - Defense - 5gp | 0g | 6a | 6pts
Who is this guy? What an asshole, how did he get key player.

Oh wait, it's because he got 6 points as a defenseman, a positive +/-, a 90.8 D-rating, above .500 this week, and 18 hits. Taking lessons from OSB has paid off it seems. Perhaps DrugMonkeyRX can now become the teacher and instruct us on how to become a drug dealer, that's where the magic comes from no? The purple kush?

Week 5 Record: (2-5-1) Season Record: (23-11-6)
GF: 23 goals
GA: 33 goals
PP: 26.3%
PK: 77.4%

Fire trucks have been spotted all over Calgary putting out the flames this week, all while the team owner is away for vacation on a beach. The defense fell flat allowing 33 goals against and the D-ratings show it, with all them hovering around 80. However, thebigschnoz somehow managed 93.7, it may have been luck. Offensively they didn't do too bad was 4 out of their 6 forwards had over 10 points, with No Regretzkys leading the charge. In the end it just didn't help though. On top of that, Layner's cat must have gotten the best of the situation, and hey why not, everybody likes a good pussy (cat). Nobody's sure what DesiredCustoms was thinking when he traded OTH, but it's possible new chemistry will soon realign for Calgary. That's what they are hoping for anyhow.

Key Player: thebigschnoz - Defense - 3gp | 0g | 0a | 0pts --- Goalie - 2gp | 4.00gaa | .529%
While thebigschnoz has obviously forgotten how to goalie, his defense help is much appreciated here. Running up a D-rating of 93.7 his first week back is rather impressive, and he was in the games that Calgary actually won. Due to his contribution to his team, he has earned a key player of the week.

Week 5 Record: (2-6-0) Season Record: (18-22-0)
GF: 18 goals
GA: 29 goals
PP: 6.7%
PK: 74.1%

Back to the bottom for these guys and finally going below the .500 mark. The special teams were looking abysmal this week, especially with a 6.7% powerplay, and getting the worst PK% of all teams this week. With only 18 goals for and a lacking of offense, there's no doubt that frustration is building among teammates, so Nutty Grandpa decided to take matters into his own hands and came out as their leading scorer. From the blue line The Riddler3 stepped up with 12 points (3 goals 9 assists) in 6 games, but it just wasn't enough. Defensively, the D-ratings are averaging mid 80's but that doesn't change the fact that they have the worst goals for/against differential. The amount of penalties Minnesota was drawing (48 PIM to be exact) along with their flopping PK and slumping goaltenders, became the story of the week here.

Key Player: Nutty Grandpa - Forward - 6gp | 5g | 4a | 9pts --- Goalie - 2gp | 5.50gaa | .780%
Taking matters into his own hands, this simple old man decided to rack it up for once. While he may not have been deadly at the faceoff dot, his 9 points and +1 rating puts him at the top of the forwards this week and earns him a slot as the key player.

Last edited by FluKy; May. 26th, '18 at 2:31 pm.
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Old May. 25th, '18, 8:26 pm   #2
S25 Leafs
Jul 2008 5,284
Vancouver, B.C

Lol a few shots fired there! Love it.. good writeup again Fluky

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Old May. 25th, '18, 9:41 pm   #3
Admin & Toronto Owner
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Jun 2008 18,515

Good stuff Fluky! I like it.

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Old May. 25th, '18, 11:54 pm   #4
I recruit/ I net.
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Mar 2016 483

Thanks Fluky and congrats all.

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Old May. 26th, '18, 5:01 am   #5
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Oct 2008 2,381
West Chester, PA
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Well done fluky
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Old May. 26th, '18, 2:22 pm   #6
Delicate Butterfly
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May 2011 2,443
Long Island, NY

Very well done. Thanks for taking the time to do this.

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Old May. 26th, '18, 2:42 pm   #7
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Jul 2008 7,214
Long Island, NY
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They keep getting better and better Fluky...keep it up you psycho maniac
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Old May. 29th, '18, 9:36 am   #8
Nico 916 Suave
Sir Gorgeous
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Jul 2011 3,776
Pittsburgh, PA

Great write up man!

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Old Jun. 3rd, '18, 12:31 pm   #9
Rip Winkle
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Aug 2008 6,691

Originally Posted by DrugMonkeyRX View Post
They keep getting better and better Fluky...keep it up you psycho maniac
What this guy said...


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